Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Monday, June 19

this week's clicks [love is enough when you don't look back]

get your week off to a colorful start...
Happy almost-summer, darlings! Can't you feel it in the air? I've got some great stuff for you this week, so grab your coffee cup and get clicking! I'm spending the work week at my favorite place on Earth - my childhood summer camp - so be sure to follow along on Instagram!

LISTEN.
  • The Barr Brothers were a Spotify discovery for me; I love live videos like this one where you can see how much creativity goes into actually creating music (rewind if you want to hear the entire intro).


SWOON.


SMILE.

FLASHBACK.

Tuesday, March 28

pinspiration: niagara blue

So far 2017 is shaping up to be such an exciting year in my life, and I keep feeling like so many of my little steps along the way have led me to precisely this season. In November, I was hired as the instructional coach and coordinator for a new school-within-a-school, the seeds of which were planted long ago. I would not have taken the chance to even apply for the job if not for the confidence I've gained from working with the most amazing team of all-new-to-8th-grade-English teachers this year. All the best things I've done in life have come from choices I've made when I had nothing to lose.


Two weeks ago, my forward momentum came to a grinding halt and balancing two jobs at once became too much for me to bear. Teaching has never been an 8:30-3:30 job for me - it's not just my job but my calling and passion and I am a self-identified workaholic. I love what I do. But adding a lot of research, paperwork, and tasks that delved into the PR and HR fields on top of planning three differentiated lessons a day for 70+ hormonal tweens, scoring 70+ essays on a regular basis, and dealing with all of the IEP progress reports, RTI forms, gradebook deadlines - oh, and being the 8th grade English department chair - my body finally said "nope." What I thought was just a good cry after a stressful conference call and one dropped ball on my part was actually the first sign that I was sick.

I woke up at 3 a.m. the next morning with terrible pains in my stomach. A few hours later, it became abundantly clear that I had norovirus - fever, chills, and all. I had to miss two days of work and lived on saltine crackers and Pedialyte for a week. Through it all, my team - the 5 beautiful ladies I've been mentoring this year - were there for me, helping make sure that my substitutes had the right plans and materials, that my students were behaving and on track, and, once I returned to work, that I really had talked to the powers that be about my workload.


These girls - our group Snapchat name is "Teacherladies" - aren't just my coworkers. They've become some of my dearest friends. I was so heartbroken about my old English team breaking up, but I don't think I've ever connected with a new group of people so quickly. One of the greatest gifts this group of women has brought me has been the invitation to a Bible study consisting of a handful of English teachers, several young pastors, and a handful of other folks in their late 20's and early 30's from a variety of denominations. Oh man, has this group been a blessing for Mr. Q and I. Sitting in a friend's living room last night, arms still sore from an indoor rock climbing adventure we shared this weekend, talking about Jesus and taking communion and cuddling with dogs, I was just so thankful that the Lord restores my soul - even if it takes getting knocked down by my immune system to know that restoration needs to happen.

Monday, April 25

this week's clicks: all we need is a roof and a warm place...

get your week off to a colorful start...
LISTEN.


  • The sun has finally come out in southwest Virginia, so I'm filling my playlist with upbeat, springy music perfect for warm days, like Little Brutes' "Make Our Own Way."

SWOON.

SMILE.

FLASHBACK.

Thursday, April 7

lately in instagram.

It's been a while since I recapped my life's happenings and
wanderings through the lens of Instagram! Here's what
I've been up to since the winter holidays...


Fun around Roanoke: the annual "Guns and Hoses" hockey
game between local law enforcement and firemen, and
ice skating on the new outdoor rink in Elmwood Park.


Happy mail from Germany and fun with friends


Snow day opportunities to find peace and take things slow
(and make this colorful, healthy salad from Not Without Salt)


Valentine's Day sweets - Voting in the Virginia primary


Busy teacher - In March I had the opportunity to visit a local
magnet school with co-taught classes and a working barn!


Best necklace ever, a gift from my coworker - My family


Easter selfie in the church parking lot + VIP seating


Spring break lunch date with Mr. Q + visiting Grounds 
with my favorite girls (totally stole this picture!)

Are you on Instagram? Let's be friends - you can follow me here.
{Linking Up with Weekend Snapshots at Her Heartland Soul}


Tuesday, April 5

Book Reviews: For the Love and Breaking Busy



I often paraphrase one of my YA literature heroes, Sharon Draper, in saying that my job as a teacher is to get "the right book into the hands of the right kid at the right time." I'm not sure if BookLook Bloggers sees their goal as getting the right book into my hands at the right time, but they have definitely done just that lately. The end of 2015 was rough for me, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This year, I've been making my own well-being a priority - I can't teach or serve others in any capacity if I'm broken by own perfectionism and business. Since this mission is at the center of my heart these days, I was drawn to read For the Love and Breaking Busy, and as I read these two books, I felt like Jen Hatmaker and Alli Worthington were writing them for me.

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker

Jen Hatmaker's For the Love is a collection of essays about how Jen, and Christian women in general relate to themselves, their families, and their communities. As Jen points out in the first chapter, a lot of us feel like we're coming up short: bombarded with images of perfect birthday parties and dinners and outfits and workout routines, "We no longer assess our lives with any accuracy. We have lost the ability to declare a job well-done. We measure our performance against an invented standard and come up wanting, and it is destroying our joy." I was reminded of Amy Poehler's "Good for her! Not for me" mantra when Jen compares finding balance in her life to her daughter's gymnastics balance beam: things that give her life, like cooking (she includes recipes in the book!), sit down dinners, and writing, are "on the beam." Things that would drain her dry, like web management, being classroom mom, or scheduling every appointment she's invited to, get to be "off the beam." While the chapters about parenting weren't 100% relevant to my current season in life, I absolutely loved the essay in which Jen addresses each of her children one by one, exhorting their strengths and outlining her dreams for them.

Early in the book, Jen addresses "the difference between the gospel and the American evangelical version of the gospel." As she puts it, "sometimes my portrayal of God's ways sounds suspiciously like the American Dream and I had better check myself." Her new benchmark is, "If it isn't also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn't true." By applying this standard to familiar American evangelical topics like the prosperity gospel, complementarianism, and our focus on finding a "calling" in life, Jen shows how our focus needs to shift to living a worthy life - "loving as loved folks do, sharing the ridiculous mercy God spoiled us with first." As these essays, by turns serious and laugh-out-loud hilarious (leggings-as-pants and Netflix find their way to Jen's crosshairs), show, we are often so focused on a false ideal of perfection that we forget the importance of simply showing up.

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy by Alli Worthington

In the first chapter of Breaking Busy, Alli Worthington describes her breaking point - convinced she'd lost her iPhone in a taxi after a 2 a.m. wakeup call, she borrowed another person's phone in a busy airport only to be answered by her ringing bra. For Alli, that moment was a clear sign that she'd met her capacity in our crazy busy world. As she explains, many of us are serving at the altar of "busy" without really knowing why, all the while sacrificing our emotional control, self-care, mental, physical, and spiritual health, and important relationships. To begin "breaking busy," Alli encourages us to identify our season of life (something Jen Hatmaker also recommended in For the Love), our stress points, and why we're so driven to exceed our capacities - pride, guilt, perfectionism, or the drive to "get ahead."

Through her own experiences, Alli explains how to edit one's time and responsibilities and overcome the pressure to be "all things to all people." When God called on her to quit the conference she'd built through years of hard work, she resisted at first, then became angry when her next opportunity wasn't immediately clear. Her worries about the future and the pressure to be perfect kept her from enjoying the opportunities her obedience opened up. The book is full of practical action steps to help readers make decisions that will free us from the "altar of busy."

This year, I've been focused on slowing down and focusing on routines that make my life healthier and more peaceful. I think that's why I was drawn to For the Love and Breaking Busy. I've highlighted and starred this quote from Alli Worthington: "Just because we live in a world of seemingly endless expectations doesn't mean we have to live up to them." I think that quote perfectly sums up the message I took away from both of these books.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received these books free from the publishers through the BookLook Bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Sunday, March 27

sunday simplicity.

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee


You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
- Martin Nystrom

Wednesday, January 20

2016 moodboard.

Images, L-R: 1, 2, 3 | 4, 5, 6

This month, the theme for The Circle link-up at In Its Time was to create a moodboard for 2016. As I created my moodboard, I thought about how I want to 2016 to feel and what I want each day to look like. Here are some areas of my life I want to prioritize this year.

calm mornings

I've always been something of a night owl, but lately I've really been looking into how my sleep affects my overall health. My mornings are typically very rushed, and it doesn't help me start the day in a very nice mood. I'd like to be able to wake up earlier and spend some quiet time eating a "real" breakfast and actually enjoying my coffee, reading, doing a devotional, practicing yoga, writing in my journal, or setting goals for the day before I have to greet 30 teenagers!


nurturing my passions
  • Teaching - I love, love, love my job. I definitely want to be involved with teaching and/or working with young people for the rest of my life. However, I've gotten a little complacent lately - I've gone from being the new teacher who was constantly reading professional development books, taking classes, and attending conferences to being the veteran who recycles lesson plans and goes home to watch Netflix. To try to rekindle that flame, I've applied to several programs for this spring and summer that should help get me back on track. I really want to be a teacher who is always innovating and trying new things.
  • Writing - If someone had told me ten years ago that I wouldn't have published anything significant by the age of thirty, I probably would have gotten very depressed. My writing is another thing I think I've gotten complacent about - I use the busy-ness of my teaching job and personal writing, like blogging and Tumblr, to avoid writing for a purpose. Just like with exercise, if I don't make time to write creatively, it's not going to happen. What am I hiding from?

welcoming change

Change is scary to me, but my One Word for 2016 is horizon and when I look at the image of the girl facing the horizon, I see that she's facing the ocean and its ever-changing waves - one of my favorite places to be and one that I find incredibly calming. Change is a constant in life - in relationships, at work, and with our personal interests. I had to reevaluate some friendships in 2015, and gained a stronger sense of self (a little more about that here). Buying a house and being able to turn it into a place to welcome friends and family any time we want will be a big change. Moving to a new school for a semester will be a big change. I need to face the horizon rather than trying to run from it.


health and wellness
  • I'm not exaggerating when I say that yoga has changed my life - I'm calmer, more patient, and more centered, and as a nice side effect my body is leaner. I want to keep practicing yoga regularly (at home in addition to the class I attend) and challenge myself to try more difficult poses.
  • I've been working to improve my health and diet for almost four years now, since receiving my PCOS diagnosis, but nothing has been as helpful to me so far as the app that came with my Jawbone UP2 band (read more of my thoughts about the UP2 here) - the combination of tracking sleep, workouts, and food and positive reinforcement really seems to be working. I've tried various boot camps, diets, and cleanses, but none of them have really "stuck." Hopefully I'm on to something now!
  • One of the things I'm most looking forward to when we do move out of our current townhouse is being able to have a garden and grow our own vegetables. I grew up in a rural area and sometimes I just need a little dirt therapy.


community

The time has come for me to break through my social anxiety and find a place to pray and worship (I wrote a little more about this here). Ever since reading Rachel Held Evans' book Searching for Sunday last year (my review is here), I've been yearning for the kind of transformative experience she writes about. I don't want to be yet another millennial who left the church and never returned - unlike some people I know who thrive on solitary spiritual paths, I am just no good at staying in the Word on my own. I have been making excuses for far too long, and this needs to be the year I find a church home, even if that means going alone. I miss the sense of belonging and understanding that I had in college with my fellowship, small group, and close-knit church. As I've said before, I know that there's no "perfect" church, but there must be one out there (hopefully not too far away) that I can help make wonderful.

IN ITS TIME





Friday, January 15

#5FandomFriday - January 15th - 5 Ways I Am Going To Take Chances In 2016 

5 Fandom Friday is a weekly prompt challenge hosted by The Nerdy Girlie and Super Space Chick. This week's #5FandomFriday topic is 5 Ways I Am Going to Take Chances in 2015, and I've enjoyed reading the other girls' responses to this prompt so far. I was finally able to come up with my own list after lots of thought! I decided to focus on ways to take chances in different areas of my life.

work 

2016 is going to be a year of big changes at work! 8th grade English will be going from being a semester course to a year-long course (with the same 84 minute class periods) in order to better prepare our students for our very difficult state standardized test and their high school courses. I'm excited about having twice as much time with students - more than I've ever had before - because I'll be able to give them time for independent reading and we won't have to move on to new skills until they're ready. On the other hand, I'm very nervous about the change because it means I'll most likely be spending one semester on our other middle school campus, where I don't know very many people and which has a reputation for being very straight-laced. I've suggested an idea for a pilot program that would blend a high-level English class with one of our elective courses and several of the other English teachers really like it - we'll see what the rest of the faculty thinks when we meet this week.

wellness


I've been starting to really invest in my own health over the past few years, although I will be the first one to admit I'm bad at remembering to take care of me. I'm going to face my social anxiety by going to the gym more often for cardio, and I'm also considering signing up for a Couch to 5K program our local Parks and Rec department is offering - I have never liked running, so I would like to actually learn how to run properly.

faith

I would love to find a church community to participate in, but I've used my anxiety as an excuse to spend Sunday mornings at home. I think I am going to just put myself out there and see which of my friends, family members and co-workers will invite me to their churches. I know that I got unbelievably lucky when I lived in Charlottesville and found the perfect church for me via Google. I also know that I might not necessarily find a church that meets all my "perfect church" expectations (simple facility, won't make me work in the nursery, doesn't think women belong in the kitchen, doesn't see depression as a lack of faith, diverse and inclusive), but that I might have to work to "be the change" within that community.

family


Where are you, dream house?

Mr. Q and I will hopefully be buying a house in 2016! The idea of moving out of our townhouse gives me very mixed emotions - on the one hand, I'm totally psyched to get out of this temporary arrangement. On the other hand, I really do love our cozy townhouse; it's perfect for us right now and I've gotten very spoiled living so close to work. Moving on to the next phase of grown-up life is scary.

hobbies

I'd like to be able to stop referring to writing as a hobby and begin to truly pursue it as a career. I'm not very good at sticking to a writing schedule or being self-disciplined, and sometimes I worry that blog writing is actually taking me away from creative writing - you may see me taking a break from the blog for a while this year as I try to get more serious about my passion. My writing is kind of all over the place, but almost all of my stories have a fantasy element. I used to write poetry regularly and would like to get back into that as well. I don't know the first thing about submitting writing to magazines and such, so it's time to learn! My goal is to finish my portfolio and apply to the MFA program at Hollins College - even if I don't become a successful professional author, I think an MFA in creative writing will help me to be a better teacher of writing and a better mentor to new teachers.




Monday, November 9

clicks of note: just take my hand...

get your week off to a colorful start...
LISTEN.

  • Tori Kelly's "I Was Made for Loving You," featuring Ed Sheeran: sweet, acoustic guitar-driven goodness.

SWOON.

SMILE.

REFLECT.

FLASHBACK.
WEEKLY ROUND-UP at HIGH-HEELED LOVE

Thursday, May 21

my spring in instagram.

So, I haven't posted an Instagram round-up since November. Lifestyle blogger fail. Just believe me when I say winter wasn't so bad this year, and spring has been pretty awesome.


School snaps: my kids have a sense of humor, but they can
also be deep thinkers when it's poetry analysis time.

 

New fitness routine: I have started a walking club that is a
spin-off of Mr. Q's cycling club - purple shoes and beautiful
countryside paths help me stay motivated.


More teaching life - a neon wall of homophone posters in 
my classroom and my sweet girls on our D.C. field trip.


Day trip to Raleigh - we picked up B's new bike and visited
the Flying Saucer's downtown location.


Easter at Elevation Roanoke with my sweet sister-in-law,
then picking up some new flowers for my container garden.


My sister-in-law's new ink and Paint Nite with my BFF, Breeze.


Mr. Q's relay team won the Smith Mountian Lake Triathlon
this year! It's a lot of fun to watch the swimmers, bikers,
and runners while hanging out at the State Park all day.


Breeze and I had a much-needed bestie weekend that included
seeing Ashley Monroe from the Pistol Annies perform in
a brand-new venue and a tasting at a local winery.

What are you up to this spring? Follow me on Instagram here.






Thursday, April 16

Book Review: Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans

Rachel Held Evans became my favorite Christian author when I read her second book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, after several months of reading and loving her blog. As part of the launch team for her new book, Searching for Sunday, I had the opportunity to read an advanced copy and share the experience with a community of like-minded readers (and Rachel herself!). As I share my review today, you'll notice that it's mostly quotes - that's because Rachel writes about her faith journey so powerfully and succinctly that I don't think my own words can really do this book justice.

Searching for Sunday is a much deeper, more reflective book than A Year of Biblical Womanhood.  It addresses the fact that America's religious life is at a turning point: Rachel states in the book's prologue that more than half of young people ages eighteen to twenty-nine who grew up Christian no longer attend church. As a well-known young Christian blogger, church leaders often ask her to speak about why millennials are leaving the evangelical church. Her answer really resonated with me:
"we're tired of the culture wars, tired of Christianity getting entangled with party politics and power. Millennials want to be known for what we're for, I said, not just what we're against. We don't want to choose between science and religion or between our intellectual integrity and our faith. Instead, we long for our churches to be safe places to doubt, to ask questions, and to tell the truth, even when it's uncomfortable."
Rachel structures Searching for Sunday around seven sacraments: baptism, confession, holy orders, communion, confirmation, the anointing of the sick, and marriage - the practices by which God reveals himself to us. Each section begins with a meditation on the elements used in the sacraments, followed by interwoven personal memories and theological reflections. Rachel writes about how she, like many young people, longed to be welcomed, known, loved, comforted,  anointed in the church, but became overwhelmingly frustrated with the lies, abuse, and exclusion that is also found in the pulpit and between the pews, and how the longing eventually won out.

In "Vote Yes on One," one of the strongest essays in the book, Rachel writes that for her, "the trouble started" when she enrolled in a nondenominational Christian liberal arts university, and her questions were no longer met with the satisfying answers she'd found in high school youth group.

"That recurring choice--between faith and science, Christianity and feminism, the Bible and historical criticism, doctrine and compassion--kept tripping me up like roots on a forest trail. I wanted to believe, of course, but I wanted to believe with my intellectual integrity and intuition intact, with both my head and heart fully engaged."
I was raised Christian, but not raised in the church; I was probably running around the woods barefoot while Rachel was memorizing Bible verses in Awana and playing Chubby Bunny with her youth group. I was the weird kid who always wanted to have dinner at friends' houses on Wednesday nights and sleep over on Saturdays so I could catch a glimpse of this church world and learn about Jesus instead of just being reassured that he loved me - and because it was Southwest Virginia, that church world was evangelical bordering on fire-and-brimstone fundamentalism. In college, I joined InterVarsity Christian Fellowship after a high school friend invited me to their large group meeting and started attending a big, shiny Baptist church where the pastor probably never knew my name. After falling asleep in one too many sermons, I Google searched "Charlottesville Baptist Church" with my friend Amanda, we visited the first one on the list, and I suspected I may have found my church family the next Sunday when Pastor Jeff remembered who Heather and Amanda were. Soon I was "plugged in," as Rachel puts it in the book - attending Sunday school, volunteering in the nursery, leading a small group Bible study, and eventually getting Baptized and joining the church. I loved my church and my fellowship, and have many fond memories of my college years falling in love with Jesus, but I also have some less-than-fond memories, like a church friend recommending a "good conservative church" to Amanda when she moved to South Carolina, or my friend being told to step down from a leadership position after he came out.

These are the same kinds of experiences Rachel has had herself and has heard about from her blog readers, the experiences that drove her to write Searching for Sunday. When signs popped up at her church urging Tennesseans to vote for a "Marriage Protection Amendment," she realized something: 

"just as I sat in church with my doubt, there were those sitting in church with their sexuality, their race, their gender, their depression, their addiction, their questions, their fears, their past, their infertility, their eating disorder, their diagnosis, their missed rent, their mess of a marriage, their sins, their shame--all the things that follow us to church on Sunday morning but we dare not name."
One of the strongest arguments Rachel makes in the book is that young people aren't actually looking for a "hipper" church - it's not a lack of fog machines and drum kits that's turning anyone away. 
"Christians may need to get used to the idea of measuring significance by something other than money, fame, and power. No one ever said the fruit of the Spirit is relevance or impact or even revival. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control--the sort of stuff that, let's face it, doesn't always sell." 
Since leaving Charlottesville, I've been a skeptical "church hopper," more inclined to see reasons why a new church isn't for me than reasons why it could be. This book has been very appropriate for this season in my life and gave me the motivation to turn my hopping into a true pursuit. Searching for Sunday gives me hope that somewhere out there is a church family that is welcoming, inclusive, understanding, and committed to praising Jesus together in the midst of messy real life - or one that could be, with me on board. I'm ready to share my bread.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a .pdf of this book free from the publisher, Nelson Books, Inc., an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers, as a member of the Searching for Sunday Launch Team. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”