Book Reviews: For the Love and Breaking Busy

I often paraphrase one of my YA literature heroes, Sharon Draper, in saying that my job as a teacher is to get "the right book into the hands of the right kid at the right time." I'm not sure if BookLook Bloggers sees their goal as getting the right book into my hands at the right time, but they have definitely done just that lately. The end of 2015 was rough for me, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This year, I've been making my own well-being a priority - I can't teach or serve others in any capacity if I'm broken by own perfectionism and business. Since this mission is at the center of my heart these days, I was drawn to read For the Love and Breaking Busy, and as I read these two books, I felt like Jen Hatmaker and Alli Worthington were writing them for me.

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker

Jen Hatmaker's For the Love is a collection of essays about how Jen, and Christian women in general relate to themselves, their families, and their communities. As Jen points out in the first chapter, a lot of us feel like we're coming up short: bombarded with images of perfect birthday parties and dinners and outfits and workout routines, "We no longer assess our lives with any accuracy. We have lost the ability to declare a job well-done. We measure our performance against an invented standard and come up wanting, and it is destroying our joy." I was reminded of Amy Poehler's "Good for her! Not for me" mantra when Jen compares finding balance in her life to her daughter's gymnastics balance beam: things that give her life, like cooking (she includes recipes in the book!), sit down dinners, and writing, are "on the beam." Things that would drain her dry, like web management, being classroom mom, or scheduling every appointment she's invited to, get to be "off the beam." While the chapters about parenting weren't 100% relevant to my current season in life, I absolutely loved the essay in which Jen addresses each of her children one by one, exhorting their strengths and outlining her dreams for them.

Early in the book, Jen addresses "the difference between the gospel and the American evangelical version of the gospel." As she puts it, "sometimes my portrayal of God's ways sounds suspiciously like the American Dream and I had better check myself." Her new benchmark is, "If it isn't also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn't true." By applying this standard to familiar American evangelical topics like the prosperity gospel, complementarianism, and our focus on finding a "calling" in life, Jen shows how our focus needs to shift to living a worthy life - "loving as loved folks do, sharing the ridiculous mercy God spoiled us with first." As these essays, by turns serious and laugh-out-loud hilarious (leggings-as-pants and Netflix find their way to Jen's crosshairs), show, we are often so focused on a false ideal of perfection that we forget the importance of simply showing up.

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy by Alli Worthington

In the first chapter of Breaking Busy, Alli Worthington describes her breaking point - convinced she'd lost her iPhone in a taxi after a 2 a.m. wakeup call, she borrowed another person's phone in a busy airport only to be answered by her ringing bra. For Alli, that moment was a clear sign that she'd met her capacity in our crazy busy world. As she explains, many of us are serving at the altar of "busy" without really knowing why, all the while sacrificing our emotional control, self-care, mental, physical, and spiritual health, and important relationships. To begin "breaking busy," Alli encourages us to identify our season of life (something Jen Hatmaker also recommended in For the Love), our stress points, and why we're so driven to exceed our capacities - pride, guilt, perfectionism, or the drive to "get ahead."

Through her own experiences, Alli explains how to edit one's time and responsibilities and overcome the pressure to be "all things to all people." When God called on her to quit the conference she'd built through years of hard work, she resisted at first, then became angry when her next opportunity wasn't immediately clear. Her worries about the future and the pressure to be perfect kept her from enjoying the opportunities her obedience opened up. The book is full of practical action steps to help readers make decisions that will free us from the "altar of busy."

This year, I've been focused on slowing down and focusing on routines that make my life healthier and more peaceful. I think that's why I was drawn to For the Love and Breaking Busy. I've highlighted and starred this quote from Alli Worthington: "Just because we live in a world of seemingly endless expectations doesn't mean we have to live up to them." I think that quote perfectly sums up the message I took away from both of these books.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received these books free from the publishers through the BookLook Bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

this week's clicks.

get your week off to a colorful start...
WATCH.

• If I get stressed out while back at work this week, I'm going to watch this video from artist Thomas Blanchard - so colorful and calming (via This Is Colossal).

SWOON.

• A colorful soiree from Charla Storey Photography.
• A Gatsby glam two-bride NYC wedding from S+I.
• This hill country wedding from SMP is gorgeous.

SMILE.

• Desktops: Sarah ❤s, Garlic My Soul, Red Stamp. 
• Domino's tour of Kacey Musgraves' home.
• Mean Girls Funko Pops are coming. SO fetch!

FLASHBACK.

• Last year I reviewed a fairytale romance, shared a spring color palette, and rounded up inspiration for restaurant wedding receptions.
• Two years ago, I rounded up table number ideas and reflected on how my passions affect my goals.
• Three years ago, I rounded up pastel wardrobe ideas and wrote about challenges for the Love and Marriage series.
• Four years ago, I rounded up inspiration for our patio.

sunday simplicity.

Teale Photography via Style Me Pretty

“There are no faster or firmer friendships 
than those formed between people who 
love the same books.” ― Irving Stone

style: my fifth stitch fix [march 2016]

My third and fourth StitchFix shipments last year were great and the process of defining my style for my stylist helped me pare down my cluttered closet and be a smarter shopper. This past fall and this winter, I purchased just a few new pieces to fill "gaps" in my wardrobe and finally knew what it was like to have no "I have nothing to wear" mornings! However, with spring just around the corner, I was feeling a little blah about all of my sweaters and pants and decided it was time to take the plunge again! I requested Heather as my stylist once again since she is so good at her job, and included a few general trends I was loving, like gray, gold, and this year's Pantone colors along with my style catch phrase "Preppy Bohemian." I organized my Stitch Fix Pinterest Board so that similar photos were close together - lots of rose quartz, gray, gold, and florals!

This fix was mostly a miss, but it wasn't for lack of trying on Stylist Heather's part - I was really excited when I opened my box and saw pretty floral print, gold and pink, and gray jeans. I appreciate that she really takes the time to read my notes to her and browse my Pinterest board. 

Unfortunately between my Fix arriving late and having to contact Customer Service (more on that below), I totally flaked out on photographing any of the items separately and threw away the invoice with the prices listed. So sorry, y'all. I did, however, remember to get Mr. Q to snap a cell phone picture of me in an outfit that included three of the items. I'm pretty sure I look like a Hobbit in this picture, but here you go (obviously a cute Hobbit).

The items included in this Fix were:

• Pixley Martina Slub Knit Open Cardigan - In my experience "slub" usually refers to a sheer t-shirt fabric, but this cardigan is actually a thicker jersey. It has a cocoon effect going on, which unfortunately meant a lot of fabric gathering around the widest part of my body. Since it wasn't a petite item, the sleeves were too long. While I could see this being part of a teacher's work wardrobe, it made me look frumpy - I've actually lost weight since my last Fix and I don't think you can tell that at all in this picture! Finally, I already have a blazer in the same material from Old Navy that is much more flattering. Status: Returned.

• Daniel Rainn Ginnie Lace Trim Knit Top - Another piece made of flowy jersey material, the floral print of this top was very pretty. However, it wasn't petite, so the lace (which I suppose was the "boho" part of this fix) ended up being a little too revealing and the arm holes went down to my ribs on the sides. I felt like people would think I was wearing a maternity top. Status: Returned.

• Collective Concepts Lily Multi Strap Blouse - From too big to too small. This top would not come down over my chest, hence the lack of photo. While Stitch Fix will definitely do size exchanges, this tank wasn't an item I saw myself wearing. It was made of a really nice chiffon-like fabric and I loved the gold dots, and early-20's Heather would have lived in this top for nights out. Maybe when I said "girls' weekend" my stylist was picturing a bunch of Woo Girls. Status: Returned.

• Just Black Faye Skinny Jean - I've wanted to find a pair of "Goldilocks" (not too skinny, not too boyfriend) gray jeans for a while now, and these Just Black jeans fit like a dream. The fabric is a very thin denim that feels as comfortable as wearing a pair of leggings. I thought they were very flattering and looked cute with booties, will definitely be wearing with sandals this summer, and can't wait to pair them with tall boots next fall. Status: Kept!

• Urban Expressions Adelade Woven Fold-Over Clutch - I'd never gotten a bag from Stitch Fix, so I was pretty excited to see this item on my style card, especially when I saw on the invoice that it was purple (my favorite!). Then I started digging around my box. Four items of clothing, style card, postcard announcing that Stitch Fix now offers shoes nationwide, return bag... no clutch. When I e-mailed Customer Service, it was after 5:00 on a Friday, so I didn't expect to hear back until Monday. I received a reply from Stitch Fix Client Support  by 3:00 on Saturday. To help make up for the oversight, Stitch Fix added $20 of credit to my account and modified my online checkout to reflect that I only received four items. They still offered the 25% discount for keeping the entire shipment. Stitch Fix is a company that truly does go above and beyond to make customers happy - but I'm sad I didn't get to see that purple clutch. With my styling fee and the extra credit, my Just Black jeans ended up being just $44, which was too good of a deal to pass up for jeans I loved.

Here's how Stitch Fix works, in case you're wondering: when you sign up, you pay a $20 styling fee and fill out a profile with your sizes and style preferences (including what you definitely DON'T like or want). The styling fee then goes toward the cost of any items you decide to keep from your shipment, and you receive a 25% discount if you decide to keep all five items. Everything you don't keep goes back to Stitch Fix in a prepaid Priority Mail envelope. I think $20 is definitely worth it to avoid crowded malls and gross fitting rooms, and so far I've liked at least one item from each Fix enough to keep. I definitely recommend giving this service a chance if you feel like you're in a style rut, or just want to try something new... and did I mention shoes?

Want to try Stitch Fix? If you follow this referral link to sign up, I'll receive credit toward my account when you receive your first shipment!

Linking Up With:
Share Your Fix at Crazy Together
Let It Shine at Still Being Molly
Mix it Mondays with Fizz and Frosting

Friday Faves at Style Elixir
Style Me Wednesday at Shopping My Closet

lately in entertainment.

lately in entertainment - february/march 2016

concerts.

Elton John at John Paul Jones Arena - I think one of the greatest privileges of being an adult is being able to do wonderful things for my mom, since she has basically devoted half of her life to me. I've been on a quest for the past couple of years to make sure that my mom gets to see every single artist and band on her concert "bucket list." When my mom was my age she worked in a bank and she and her best work friend had Elton John posters on the inside of their office, so it was a no-brainer that I had to get tickets when I heard Elton and his band were coming to Roanoke. I knew I wanted to include my cousin who's like a sister to me, too, since she and I had so much fun at the Fleetwood Mac concert we went to last year. Unfortunately I forgot that tickets went on sale until about halfway through my planning period on the day they were released, and Roanoke had sold out really, really fast. Google to the rescue - I knew the next show would probably be close, and it was - it's hard to beat JPJ as a concert venue, and this way we got to have a little family girls' trip! It turned out that Sir Elton had the flu, and he explained when he welcomed the audience that we "might hear some strange notes," but that he didn't want to cancel the show. Despite the fact that there was probably less interaction with the audience than there would have been had he felt better, Elton and the band put on an amazing show. They played all of our favorites: Leslie's = "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding," mine = "Bennie and the Jets," "Tiny Dancer," and "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and Mom's = "I'm Still Standing" and "Daniel," as well as some new songs ("Looking Up" and "A Good Heart" are both great).

books.

Crown of Midnight and Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas - After Throne of Glass, I had to have more Calaena Sardothien in my life. Crown of Midnight builds on the dark intrigue of the first book - now that Calaena is Champion to an evil king, she has to keep up the premise that she is assassinating his enemies while actually investigating the conspiracy surrounding him. When she is asked to target a former ally, she puts everyone she loves and the happiness she has found in danger as she delays completing her assignment. Meanwhile, Chaol, the Captain of the Guard, tries to protect Celaena by not sharing information that would hurt her. Both of their choices have devastating consequences. In Heir of Fire, Celaena travels away from the glass castle and her friends to seek answers about her past. The focus in point of view shifts much more frequently, and Maas introduces a new main character, Manon, a ruthless witch. I read a lot of the third book out of sequence because I would get caught up in one thread of the story - Celaena's training with a brooding Fae warrior, Dorian falling in love with the castle apothecary, or Manon training a wyvern to be her new mount for flying. Whereas Throne of Glass was mainly historical-flavored adventure with a whisper of magic, Heir of Fire is full-blown high fantasy. I'm looking forward to reading Queen of Shadows soon.


A Girl's Guide to Moving On by Debbie Macomber - All I knew about Debbie Macomber before reading this book, which I received from NetGalley, was that several of her books have been made into Hallmark movies. A Girl's Guide to Moving On follows two "girls" as they take back their lives. Leanne and her daughter-in-law, Nichole, seemed to have picture perfect, country-club lives in Portland - except for the fact that Leanne's husband, Sean, has been unfaithful to her for years and her son Jake followed suit. When Nichole files for divorce, Leanne finds the courage to do the same, and they find apartments in the same building. Serving as each others' support system, they make a list of survival strategies that include getting involved in their community, cultivating new friendships, and letting go in order to receive. They forge such a close and true mother-daughter relationship that I couldn't help being reminded of Naomi and Ruth. Both find themselves opening their hearts again, much to the chagrin of their ex-husbands - Nichole to a down-to-earth tow-truck driver Jake views with contempt, and Leanne with a charming baker from the ESL class she teaches, which of course makes Sean's blood boil. I was rooting for each of these women to find freedom and happiness.



Tell the Wind and Fire by Sarah Rees Brennan - I originally fell in love with Sarah Rees Brennan through her Livejournal years ago (I'm showing my age here), and enjoyed reading her Demon's Lexicon series (back then there was this weird sense of hipster "I liked this author before she was cool" pride when authors you followed on LJ finally got published). Tell the Wind and Fire is a standalone, rather than a series. Tell the Wind and Fire was inspired by A Tale of Two Cities (which I'll admit I haven't read, #Englishmajorfail), and this book's two cities are divided by the light and dark sides of the magic which powers their world. The main character, Lucie, is a folk hero raised in the Dark who "made the decision long ago: better to be safe than good." After her mother's terrible death in the dark city, she and her father were able to find a home with friends in the Light, and Lucie fell in love with a boy who happens to be a son from the most powerful Light family in the city. Her boyfriend, Ethan, has a dark secret of his own, and his family is all too happy to use his connection to Lucie to boost their reputation in the public eye. When her decision to trust a stranger from the Dark puts Ethan's life in danger, Lucie has to rely on her wits to save him, and as revolution takes hold in the Light city, Lucie has to decide where she stands. This was a quick, addicting read filled with beautiful prose, but I'd recommending starting with The Demon's Lexicon if you want a real taste of what Sarah Rees Brennan is capable of writing.


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received ARCs of A Girl's Guide to Moving on and Tell The Wind and Fire free from the publisher through NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Pinspiration: Let's get away...

One of the shades I'm loving for my spring wardrobe is the perfect tan Pantone calls "iced coffee." Fashion has taken on a 70's vibe this year which lends itself perfectly to my dreams of someday driving alongside the California coast with Joni Mitchell on the stereo... happy Spring Break, y'all!

literary junkies - march 2016.

Here are this month's questions:

1. What are you reading right now? Tell us about it.

I just finished reading Facing the Lion: Growing Up Maasai on the African Savanna by Joseph Lemasolai Lekuton, which was a new addition to our school library's nonfiction section. I can't stop telling people about it because I learned so much! Joseph's tribe is a minority group in Kenya, where most people live what we would consider modern lives (like my college roommate, Njeri!). The Maasai are nomadic and adhere to traditional gender roles in which the women build houses and take care of children and the men care for livestock, hunt, and train as warriors. When Joseph was six, the Kenyan government passed a law that each Maasai family had to send at least one child to school - Joseph's family couldn't spare their older sons, who were needed to care for the cattle, but he wanted to go to school so badly that he convinced the school officials he was eight, the minimum age. He took to school quickly and found his passion in playing soccer. Being challenged to win a game by the President of Kenya turned out to be the gateway to a college education in America. All the while, Joseph straddled being a child of two worlds - flying to New York on airplanes which confounded his parents and participating in tribal manhood rituals his teachers and classmates didn't understand. Today, he works as a teacher in northern Virginia and works to help preserve tribal traditions in Kenya while improving the quality of life and education for children there.

2. If you could visit any book setting, which would you choose and why?

Could I give any answer but Hogwarts here? It is, after all, my literary second home. I'd love to see the cozy Hufflepuff common room, stroll through the greenhouses, visit the library, and eat a feast in the Great Hall! 

Realistically, I've wanted to take a literary trip to London since college! Not only is it full of Harry Potter locations, I want to visit Notting Hill, tour places associated with Jane Austen's life and books, see a play in Shakespeare's Globe Theater, and pay my respects to Geoffery Chaucer at Westminster Abbey.

3. If you could sit down with any book character, who would it by and what would you ask them?

I'd want to sit down with Alba, Henry and Clare's daughter from The Time Traveler's Wife, and ask her about her experiences in the past and present and how she controls what destinations she'll end up in. Time travel has always been the most fascinating fictional power/ability to me.

4. If you wrote a memoir and it was turned into a movie, what actor or actress would play you?

Since I'm not 100% white it's really hard to see myself in Hollywood actresses. She's older than me, but as a kid people were constantly telling me I looked like Winnie from The Wonder Years (Danica McKellar). The only other actress who I think I look remotely like is Ginnifer Goodwin. She is closer to 30 and would also be awesome, and I'm pretty sure she could sound like me since she's from Tennessee - plus, she's got a built-in younger version, Bailee Madison, who plays young Snow White on Once Upon a Time.


5. What have you recently added to your to-be-read list that you are completely excited to pick up next??

I just picked up Patrick Ness' The Rest of Us Just Live Here from the library - I've heard it's delightful. It's about people like Xander in Buffy - all of the sidekicks and best friends in worlds where magic and superpowers are part of everyday life. The blurb on Goodreads says, "What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again." It's a very clever premise, and I already know Ness is an awesome writer, so I hope it'll live up to my expectations.

What have you been reading lately? Come link up with us at 

Pink Heels Pink Truck and Lattes, Life, and Luggage!

this week's clicks: Spring Breakin'

get your week off to a colorful start...
LISTEN.

• My favorite part of Spotify is definitely the "Discover Weekly" playlist that generates a list of songs based on what I'm listening to and liking. Aren't algorithms cool? This week, one of my favorites from the list was Firekid's "Lay By Me" - how sweet are these lyrics?

SWOON.

Studio DIY via Love, Maegan

• Maegan's got the DIY for chic palm frond balloons.
• At S+I, a beautiful veil and funfetti wedding cake.
• SMP features a pretty pink Korean-American e-shoot.
• A fun, colorful Austin soirée from Wedding Chicks.

SMILE.

• A cheeky little pin for Spring Break outfits.
• Loving the inspiration for Jen's style challenge.
• Her Universe's Marvel activewear line is here!
• Spring Break style ideas on my Pinterest.

FLASHBACK.

• Last year I pretty much predicted the Colors of the Year for 2016.
• Two years ago, Sunday Social was about ideals and accomplishments. I featured my fave green and black and white picks, and rounded up my April favorites.
• Three years ago I rounded up rainy day fashions, white bridesmaid dress inspiration, explained how we save money on groceries, completed my second Liebster survey, and shared my love story with Mr. Q for the Love and Marriage series.
• Four years ago I collected inspiration for an April Fool's wedding.