Tuesday, June 12

my goal for 27: be more considerate

I turned 27 last month.  I got to spend the Saturday before my birthday with some of the people I love most in the world.  It all started with something small I said to my husband: "I want to make s'mores for my birthday."

The ball started rolling from there- the next thing I knew, Heather's S'mores & More Birthday Party was a Thing.  A Facebook event, actually.  Did we have a location?  No way.  Did I have a panic attack when I realized Mr. Q had invited all of those people with no plan for feeding and entertaining them?  I did, and I am not proud of it at all, because he had faith in the tribe of people who love us and I did not.

My mother said it would be fine for us to have a little party at her house.  Our dear friend Scotty said he'd be happy to bring his gas grill, and, by the way, he had three pounds of chicken he'd bought in bulk and wanted to get rid of.

Something I learned?  A good friend RSVPs without even knowing when the party will be or where it will take place.  A good Southern friend does all of the above AND asks what kind of dish she can bring.

At the beginning of 2012, a lot of bloggers were posting one word that they wanted to live by for the year.  I never made a blog post, but I did start a GRACE board on Pinterest, inspired by this bit of loveliness from Emily Ley:

Back in January, my mind was really opened by the idea of allowing myself grace: allowing myself to be flawed, imperfect, and real.  I think it's helped me survive the huge continuing transition from being a single girl living at home with my mom to being a married woman with all the added pressures and responsibilities that entails.

Then I saw this quote from Plato on Decor to Adore.  It especially rang true to my middle school teacher heart, and it got added to my concept of GRACE:

I've had a few instances recently where I've realized that I am, so often, so inadequate as a friend, a wife, and a daughter.  I fall so short of the love I am surrounded by.  I can be very, very selfish- wrapped up in my own stress and not realizing that those folks who support me have their own battles to fight.

My birthday gifts - the presence of my friends, and the physical objects in (of course) cute bags that I did not anticipate receiving- humbled me.  They reminded me how blessed I am to have these people.  Friends who knew me in sixth grade and still love me today.  Friends who buy me ridiculously appropriate gifts like a DVD of both Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman movies; the teal peacock journal I wanted to buy myself but couldn't justify the splurge; a cheesy mug with a line about girlfriends on it that made me tear up - gifts that remind me that I am known, that I am cared for, that I am valuable outside of my own mind.

So here's my goal for myself as a 27-year-old: to be more considerate.  To stop being the sun and start being a planet.

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